I'm going to tell my story bit by bit - here's my first bit, copied over from the new members introduction forum.
Finding the OT Levels
OK, so, I had been off staff for a few years, and paid off a £12,000+ freeloader bill. I would go into the Org now and again, and had about £2,000 in my account. Being in need of a stat one week, someone in the Org decided that I needed a Sec Check, which, coincidentally, ended up using the £2,000 I had in my account. At the time, I knew I didn’t need a Sec Check, but decided that the tech people knew best, and went along with it. Anyway, there came a point in the Sec Check, as I was starting to feel worse and worse, when it suddenly occurred to me that the Church might not actually be capable of getting me ‘up the Bridge’. That started a chain of thought rolling.
Meanwhile, having extricated myself partially from Org life, I had managed to get myself back on track with my wog life somewhat, by going to university (I had abandoned a place at university previously to join staff). (Hummingbird: there – I’ve narrowed it down from 3 to 1 :-P)
Sitting in the university computer room, with the Fishman documents in front of me on the screen, I had OTI to OTVIII links, plus other confidential stuff, begging me to open them. I took a deep breath. Inserted a floppy disk into the computer’s disk drive, and then paused. “Once I click on these, it’s going to take them maybe an hour to get to me. OK, Go!!!” I knew there was a good chance I wouldn’t have time to read them there before they got to me somehow, so I downloaded them to the floppy, and then dumped the entire set of files to a dot matrix printer in the next room. I then took the floppy, and the printout (several hundred pages, including the pages and pages and pages of OTII implant platens) and rushed out of the building. My heart pounded all the way home. I didn’t really think they would physically come for me, but I had thought that they might somehow be able to detect that I was downloading them, and stop the download, or SOMETHING. Or perhaps they WOULD come for me.
Reading the OT levels was a whole thing in itself. I wasn’t too worried about OTI, but II and III had me really scared. I spent a whole afternoon with OTIII. Read one line, pause, wait, “am I still OK?” Then read the next line, heart pounding. I got through the story of Xenu like that. When I got to the technical stuff (I won’t give the details here) I was really panicking, and I did feel a little unwell (but I’ll tell you more about what happened to me after reading it in a later post). In the end, I just COULDN’T READ the details of the incidents, on that day. I really felt like it was possible I would cave in and die.
Later that evening, I rushed to a friend’s place of work (he worked night shift). He was ex-SO, and disaffected with the local org, and read the stuff with fascination. I would later show two or three other almost-exes the same materials.
More later….
My story in Scientology
Finding the OT Levels
OK, so, I had been off staff for a few years, and paid off a £12,000+ freeloader bill. I would go into the Org now and again, and had about £2,000 in my account. Being in need of a stat one week, someone in the Org decided that I needed a Sec Check, which, coincidentally, ended up using the £2,000 I had in my account. At the time, I knew I didn’t need a Sec Check, but decided that the tech people knew best, and went along with it. Anyway, there came a point in the Sec Check, as I was starting to feel worse and worse, when it suddenly occurred to me that the Church might not actually be capable of getting me ‘up the Bridge’. That started a chain of thought rolling.
Meanwhile, having extricated myself partially from Org life, I had managed to get myself back on track with my wog life somewhat, by going to university (I had abandoned a place at university previously to join staff). (Hummingbird: there – I’ve narrowed it down from 3 to 1 :-P)
Sitting in the university computer room, with the Fishman documents in front of me on the screen, I had OTI to OTVIII links, plus other confidential stuff, begging me to open them. I took a deep breath. Inserted a floppy disk into the computer’s disk drive, and then paused. “Once I click on these, it’s going to take them maybe an hour to get to me. OK, Go!!!” I knew there was a good chance I wouldn’t have time to read them there before they got to me somehow, so I downloaded them to the floppy, and then dumped the entire set of files to a dot matrix printer in the next room. I then took the floppy, and the printout (several hundred pages, including the pages and pages and pages of OTII implant platens) and rushed out of the building. My heart pounded all the way home. I didn’t really think they would physically come for me, but I had thought that they might somehow be able to detect that I was downloading them, and stop the download, or SOMETHING. Or perhaps they WOULD come for me.
Reading the OT levels was a whole thing in itself. I wasn’t too worried about OTI, but II and III had me really scared. I spent a whole afternoon with OTIII. Read one line, pause, wait, “am I still OK?” Then read the next line, heart pounding. I got through the story of Xenu like that. When I got to the technical stuff (I won’t give the details here) I was really panicking, and I did feel a little unwell (but I’ll tell you more about what happened to me after reading it in a later post). In the end, I just COULDN’T READ the details of the incidents, on that day. I really felt like it was possible I would cave in and die.
Later that evening, I rushed to a friend’s place of work (he worked night shift). He was ex-SO, and disaffected with the local org, and read the stuff with fascination. I would later show two or three other almost-exes the same materials.
More later….
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