mardi 25 octobre 2016

Attaining actual Spritual Freedom

The Journey to Nowhere!

I am not for or against Scientology. It has many positive aspects and of course like everything else in this world negative aspects .
I do not wish to write untruthful stories about the religion but will express what My experience in the church was like and what unfolded as one of the greatest adventures for me so far . I will begin by giving a brief history of my life just to provide background.

Since a young age I was fascinated with the world around me and what it was all about . The mystery of why we are here, the point of it all and where we go after death was a constant wonder in my mind . I was born into a christian family but didn't feel the explanations on life and the universe seemed right . It was a constant battle of confusion and in my late teens i decided to look at other spiritual practices and religions . Engaged in different movements and cults. Read as many books on spirituality as possible but still felt a deep sense of lack and confusion .
When reading a book by Lama Surya Das about the Buddhist eight fold path to enlightenment I new deeply that ultimately all this lack that humans feel the need to fill with pointless things would be remedied if one was enlightened . This fueled a strong sense of motivation to attain the state of enlightenment within this lifetime .
Reading more and more Buddhism ,meditating for an hour a day and practicing the moral codes of Buddhism itself made me feel ethical and healthy but ultimately i still felt the lack within and wanted to change that to the state of serenity promised by the Buddha. After a while I started to lose hope that Enlightenment was possible so I stopped meditating and just continued with life .
One day I was walking in Melbourne along the yarra River on a bright sunny summer day and bumped in to a man offering stress tests . I was pretty interested , I didn't have stress at the time and was feeling great . I sat down and the stress test was begun . The man was very engaging and asked a series of questions which would tell him if there was stress pertaining to the questions he was asking with the help of his E-Meter . It was all fascinating and incredibly accurate i thought at the time . He started to talk about Dianetics and how the mind works eventually explaining the state of clear which really sounded amazing . Could clear be what the Buddhists call enlightenment? was Dianetics a sure path to becoming an awakened being ? well i was certainly going to find out more about these techniques of clearing negative emotions caused by past moments of pain and unconsciousness.
The little encounter with the lovely man offering the stress tests got me interested and i expressed that I wanted to buy the book but couldn't afford it . He said that although I couldn't afford it , I could Still come to the dianetics Center and learn more about it . He offered me a a pamphlet with the address on it.
The address Read "Church of Scientology" .I told the man that I had heard negative things about Scientology and he asked me if that was going to change my mind about coming in . I said no because I had never been inside the church so there was no way for me to know if the stories were true and my understanding of the mass media was that it was always coming up with lies to try and divert people away from anything actually good.
I walked away from the stress test unable to stop thinking about what was possible with Dianetics . I had agreed to meet with the Scientologist (which we will call Mike ) on Thursday which was a week later . I couldn't wait due to excitement so went into the church the next day.I walked in and said I wanted to buy a copy of dianetics and also to do a personality test . The staff there were lovely and provided me with both . When I had finished the personalty test it got evaluated and My personalty was shown to have certain flaws but could be remedied with Scientology courses . Well Back then I was all about self improvement and was sure as hell open to making that graph look like a masterpiece in the eyes of the Scientologists , so I agreed to do 'How to overcome ups and downs in life '. as soon as i bought the course i was studying everyday and what I was learning was very similar to some of the concepts in earlier religious study's i had undergone . Everything I learnt made so much sense and must have been the truth if it was so simple. I was also reading dianetics every night and was learning more about this reactive mind and the optimum individual known as a Clear . So I completed many Life improvement courses and read Dianetics .After reading book 1 as it is sometimes referred to, I wanted nothing more than to achieve the state of clear . I talked to One of the staff in the church about Dianetics, how it made so much sense and how I wanted to get some auditing . Immediately I was asked if I had seen the Bridge to Total Freedom . 'No' I replied, so he decided to show me a chart that was there hanging framed on the wall . The graph as many Scientologists and ex members know is a chart with all the grades and levels one must go through in order to get to certain levels of spiritual freedom . The staff member was explaining all the levels up from the purification rundown through to clear .He was very informative and helpful . I had many questions but one that I remember vividly was when I asked him " so if Buddha didn't have an auditor to help him run Dianetics then how did he go clear ? ' I asked this because I needed to know if Enlightenment and clear were one and the same thing .
Without any comm lag the staffer replied quite sternly that the Buddha wasn't clear because it was impossible for him to get rid of his reactive mind without an auditor .
"well what was the Buddha then because he definitely was above the normal stated of humans back then ?" I said in confusion .
" well my understanding is that the Buddha had definitely achieved some lower level gains and probably had some OT abilities but wasn't Clear." Said the staff member.
" wow okay well I didn't know that" i said .
I then proceeded to ask him about the states of OT or an Operating Thetan in its UN-abbreviated form.
All that was explained about an OT was very enchanting and reminded me about special abilities some of the most spiritual masters from other religions were known to exhibit.
I needed to know more and also achieve these states and become Spiritually free .
I decide to join staff just to dedicate myself to this new found goldmine . I read some of the basics to learn about life and the universe . I got dianetics Book 1 auditing and then did my purification rundown . I felt great and was moving like a cheetah towards its prey . I started my Survival Rundown which promised I would be 100% in Present time and in control of my mind ,body thoughts and environment .Doing the survival rundown every night was interesting to say the least and i did feel more nd more in 'Present Time' but Something didn't seem right anymore and I had a gut feeling that led me to look and things differently .After surrounding myself with Clears and top level OTs and realizing that even they would still get frustrated ,could be rude and harsh , were prone to illness and were sometimes non accepting of situations and people,I thought what really is different between where am I am At now and where they are at ?
I started to read about peoples experience of scientology and how they lost all there money in their pursuit of spiritual freedom . It got me questioning why this freedom was so expensive. I started to review some of the Buddhist books I had read before scientology and eventually realized that maybe I was chasing a wild goose . Maybe what I was searching for wasn't going to come from doing all the levels .I wasn't upset of angry about the realization but decided I didnt want auditing or to read any more books on the subject . I loved working at the church and was dedicated to helping others work there way up the bridge if they wanted but it wasn't for me and I needed to follow my gut feelings.
One day I decided to read 'The Power Of Now' again just to go over and see if it could help my current situation . Whilst reading it I remember it being different than before. It pointed to something in which was there all along . I felt the peace and stillness that Eckhart was talking about . My life was changed and a deep sense of Completeness and satisfaction was there. The sense of lack was gone but I realized that sense of lack would of been a route to serenity if I had just sat in it for a while . Enlightenment was always there and the more that is was searched for,the less I was able to see it .
This realization and change in consciousness was the most amazing yet simple thing that could of happened and from that point I left scientology and decided that Although it was a part of the journey in which all this happened , It wasn't what I needed . I now Live totally free and in a state of immense joy just being one with everything . I am Nothing and paradoxically everything . I cannot describe who and what I am But feel it deep within My being .
I wish to help all beings now and do not reject anyone .
What is available to everyone now is freedom from suffering ,it is simple and inherent within all. It is free,it is here , it comes from within. I do not ask for any money or any recognition at all I just wish to help other realize there natural state once again and to allow it to flow into the world through them. If there is anyway I can serve you I am Open and willing .
Peace on earth is only possible through the peace you allow to flow out from within,so work on discovering what has been there all along .
Much Love


Attaining actual Spritual Freedom

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