lundi 5 septembre 2016

hi guys and gals

what'sup wessside, as you can see this is a long post and if it belongs elsewhere or if certain parts belong elsewhere and have been already covered at length just let me know, I am a newb yo.

I'm new here and I can't stand the fact that my parents are scientologists ...

if they had any common sense, which I believe they do, i think they would see right through that bullsh*t , i am just perplexed because they seem like somewhat ordinary humans, my father and mother both are savvy about lot's of ordinary things but when it comes to scientology they are sheeplike and dumb

my father is a 'clear' who with NED audited eight others to 'clear' and now freelances as a field auditor and listens to lrh's lectures sometimes on a daily basis, he is oldschool and doesn't believe in the 'golden age of tech' saying it was fine before; he doesn't believe in the quantum upgrade of the meter either (or something like that). He is at ends with the church as an organization and gossips about it sometimes, like he told me one day that D.M. sacked Mark Yaeger and Guillame Leserve and that's why D.M is the only one who speaks at events now :p makes sense to me. He also speaks poorly of the seaborg and is otherwise critical of the CoS ... He seems like a sane guy but he does believe in all the rubbish that goes with it. He's read most of the Mission earth novels. He is often enough a nice person but also a psycho and a delusional mental case who sometimes explodes in anger probably because he is bottled up inside due to his austere and rigid catholic upbringing which brought him to have faith in the CoS abomination. I would say he's mad or schizophrenic because he sometimes yells at me or others (complete strangers sometimes) and later says he can't remember acting that way but i can understand that because when people get old and live through too much pain they change for the worse in ways like that ... He is and has always been brittle and weak and very skinny which is why he broke a disk between his vertebrae in his back while working in a supermarket way back in the day. My father has no shame in spending his time trying to con the government out of cash because he doesn't like all the taxes he payed back in his heyday I suppose , and calls other con artists or people who charge too much ^pirates^ ... he himself ran a photography business once where he only gave partial exchange and tried to start his own bank-like business of lending people money while asking for a greater return , unfortunately those people were 'scientologists' who spent the loaned money on the 'bridge' or something and weren't able to pay him back and so it was a pathetic business venture ... usually you back people who seem industrious not people who would spend cash on spiritual enlightenment but whatever that's just my opinion

my mom is on ot 4 or 5 and has been having trouble 'moving up the bridge' since completing OT3 in the late 70's or early eighties and has spent lot's of money on it all and has taken a second or third mortgage out on the house i think mostly to buy (ew) (cringe) scientology services. It was my father's idea to take out a mortgage on the house the first time to buy the briefing course and some ot levels or something of the sort and my mum didn't want to because it wasn't a good idea (back when she was sane I guess), and the second and third time I believe it was my mom's doing probably to buy odditing at aola , and now we owe 200,000 on the house when it would have been all payed off in 2019 because it was originally a thirty year loan of 75.000 dollars when the housing market was at decent prices.... this makes me quite sad , say it ain't so. gooby plz
I tell her that Scn is garbage and that I don't like it but she doesn't want to hear about it or turns a deaf ear to my pleas of sanity .. I have reason to believe that she is naive this way because when she was younger all four of her wisdom teeth were removed and you know that local anesthetic is real bad, it spreads through the blood stream and crosses the blood brain barrier and has a notable effect on sleeping patterns and other things like memory and personality.
Our house is full of LRH books and tapes and CDs which we never listen to, we have all sorts of editions and reissues and course materials and impact magazine.

sh*t just drives me crazy , it makes no sense ,
I am an only child and my parents divorced when I was ten or so. My father didn't want to have another kid 'until my mom was ot v' which is sad because having a sibling could be the defining relationship in any given persons life. I never liked scn but I made an attempt to read 88008 and random bulletins from the red tech vols when I was about 12, it's the craziest read ever even with a grain of salt and understanding of the jargon.

When I was little The trailer of the movie 'Flash Gordon' scared the crap out of me I most likely because it was so similar to scn.

A rant is according to urban dictionary to (1)Talk wildly or incoherently, as if one were delirious or insane.
and as regards to LRH's lectures this wikipedia article comes to mind

I had some good friends in scn..

I also wanted to say that the e-meter is maybe not well understood by dianeticists or scngists , take for instance a 'rock slam' which according to scn is purportedly tells of an evil purpose but it could as well signify the person is having some kind of mini/subconcious panic attack because their mind is put in check by those dumb questions being asked so their brain freaks out or it could be some kind of disagreement or just plain old hatred... but I could be wrong. In any case the human brain has so many synapses and neurons that it seems to me that the movement of a needle couldn't tell you much or anything at all.
However I was at the mission in Glendale and an eleven year old walked in and asked about the e-meter I put him on the cans and the first thing he said was "i hate whales" and the needle began to rock slam .. he looked at me and asked what that meant and I told him I didn't know (instead of telling him it meant an evil purpose), so he looked back at the meter and put the cans down and then left.

I remember a few times going to an unoccupied emeter and putting myself on the cans and making myself rockslam by concentrating on certain thoughts or emotions. Probably because I was bored with scn and saw it as slow and dull.

I assume the e-meter is probably discussed at length elsewhere by savvy ppl . If you have a link to a good emeter thread leave in in the comments.

anyway this is a start tell me what yall think
hi guys and gals

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