mercredi 21 septembre 2016

Feeling down and a bit guilty

As some of you know my surrogate brother/father, Charley Jordan, who was in the sea org from the mid-to-late seventies through I believe the early 2000s passed in February. His passing has been very hard on me.

I posted here some time back the story of how he had re-mortgaged his house in the San Francisco Bay Area and bought scientology artist lithographs which were stolen from PAC. Obviously there was no way to continued paying on the house when he was a sea org member living in PAC so he was kicked out because he had too high of a debt.

Anyway a couple of years back he sent me a complete set of the new basics. I never did open them. So at the moment I am moving into a new apartment and I came across the box of books. I thought long and hard and then put them in the can to be taken out with tomorrow's garbage.

I have no idea how but he obviously paid for those books so he could give them to me. I don't want them because I will never read them. I don't want to give them away because I would rather others not read them. But they were a gift him and I know that gift was from the heart. Hence my feeling down and feeling guilty.

I'm not posting this for any reason other than just getting it off my chest. My friends who were never in would not quite understand. I know all of you understand my dilemma. Anyway, I'm feeling a bit better just having written this. Thanks for listening :-)
Feeling down and a bit guilty

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