Happy New Year, 2016!

I want to wish everyone a happy, healthy, and peaceful New Year.

As for me, I was busy following my passions---until they all got restraining orders on me.

I did have a little excitement recently. A burglar quietly enter my house at 3 a.m. one morning. My wife beat the hell out of him. She thought it was me.

I took my wife to the mall before Christmas, but I didn't have an exit strategy. In the shoe store I asked the clerk if the store has loafers. He replied, "Yes we do." So I asked him if he could get one of them to wait on me.

Just before Christmas my nephew visited us while on leave from the army. I asked him if they gave him a commission. He said, "No, just a straight salary." I asked him if they decorated him. He replied, "No, but they cleaned me up pretty good."

My wife said that our local bank was looking for a new teller. I asked her, "Didn't they just hire a new teller last week?" She replied, "Yeah. That's the one they're looking for."

My credit with that bank isn't so great. They offered me a new toaster if I would close my account.

My jokes are old. Some of them are so old they're collecting Social Security. Some are so bad they're collecting disability.

Happy New Year!

The Anabaptist Jacques

Happy New Year, 2016!